Sardar Jokes

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Sardar and the lie detector (Sardar Jokes)
An Englishman, an American and a Sardarji are called upon to test a lie detector. The Englishman says: "I think I can empty 20 bottles of beer". BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector. "Ok", he says, "10 bottles". And the machine is silent. The American says: "I think I can eat 15 hamburgers". BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector. "Allright, 8 hamburgers". And the machines silent. The Sardarji says: "I think...", BUZZZZZZ goes the machine.

To whom you are talking (Sardar Jokes)
A Sardarji joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee. On his first day he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone, "Abey saale Get me a coffee quickly!" The voice from the other side responded, "You fool you've dialed the wrong extension!" Do you know who you're talking to, dumbo?" "No", replied the trainee "It's the Managing Director of the company, you fool!" The Sardarji shouted back, "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you fool?" "No.", replied the Managing Director. "Good!", replied the Sardarji and put down the phone!

Angry Sardar (Sardar Jokes)
Once a sadarji pressed the doorbell of his house, his wife opened the door on seeing her apne sadarji went red with anger as she was standing completely nude..... sadarji started yelling I have bought so many clothes but still you are like this...if someone else would 've came then...???? He draggged her to hers almirah 'n said "look how many dresses 've got for you. Just look at them. and started counting them - one, two, three, four - excuse me mister, five six....

Sardar Thief (Sardar Jokes)
Banta Singh was shifting his residence. He was packing his belongings. By midnight he was too tired and dozed off with the house door open. A sound woke him up. A thief was packing valuables. Banta Singh found it very amusing, the thief was doing the job for him! "When this smart guy finishes packing, I will catch him". Banta was a hefty guy, so when the burglar finished packing, Banta Singh jumped on him and tied him up. Then he went to the police station and reported the matter. "What did you do to the thief"? "I tied his hands; you come and collect him". "I hope you tied his legs too". Banta Singh felt a cold feeling in his spine; he had forgotten about the legs. He sat down for a while. Then he cheered up and said, "Inspector Sab, the thief, he will still be there". "How do you know"? "Well, that fellow is also a Sardar".

To the Sun (Sardar Jokes)
Two Sardarjis, both student of I.I.T, Kanpur, were talking about the American Astronauts. One said to the other, "What's the big deal about going to the moon-anybody can go to the moon. We are sardars we will go direct to the sun." "But if we get within 13 million miles from the sun, we'll melt." And the first answered, "So what, we'll go at night."

A Question (Sardar Jokes)
A Sardarji and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would like to play a fun game. The Sardarji, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa." Again, he declines and tries to get some sleep. The American, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5,and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500." This catches the Sardarji's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game. The American asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The Sardarji doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet, pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the American. "Okay," says the American, "your turn". He asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The American, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer & searches all his preferences........no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress... no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the Sardarji and hands him $500. The Sardarji thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep. The American, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the Sardarji and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the Sardarji reaches into his purse, hands the american $5,and goes back to sleep.

Chhatri me hole (Sardar Jokes)
Ek sardar ki chhatri me hole tha. Kisi ne puchha, umbrella me hole kyu? Sardar bola, Oye barish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega.

What is skeleton (Sardar Jokes)
Interviewer: What is skeleton? Sardar: Sir, skeleton is a person, who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!

Blowing Parliament (Sardar Jokes)
Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh got fed up with the Indian Govt and decided to blow up the parliament. They took 2 bombs, put them in a suitcase in the front seat of their car and set off. Hari Singh asks "What happens if the bombs blast off now". Gani Singh says "Don't worry. I have a spare bomb in the back seat"

Window Seat (Sardar Jokes)
One sardu was going to Chandigarh from pune by a air-india plane. He was alloted the middle seat of one of the 3-seats array. But as soon as the sardarji got into the plane, he sat on the window side seat which was actually for an old lady.After some time the old lady came and requested the sardarji to leave the side seat. But the sardaji told: "I want to see the view from the window and shall not leave". The old lady then complained to the air hostess. The air hostess came and requested the sardarji to leave that seat. But sardarji was adament and did not leave. Then the air hostess went and told the asst capt. He also came and requested, but in vain. Finally the Captain came.He whispered something in the ears of the sardarji, and the sardarji immedietly left the side seat and returned to the middle seat. Astonished,the airhostess and the asst. capt. asked the capt afterwards what he told to the sardarji. Capt. told :"nothing.Ijust told him that only the middle seats will go to Chandigarh. All others will go to Jalandhar."

Sardar Scientist (Sardar Jokes)
There was a Surd scientist who was studying frogs. The scientist told the frog to jump, so the frog jumped, and he jumped 4 feet. So the scientist wrote in his notebook: a frog with 4 feet jumps 4 feet. The scientist then cut of one leg. He told the frog to jump, so the frog jumped. He jumped 3 feet. So the scientist wrote in his notebook: a frog with 3 feet jumps 3 feet. The scientist then cut off one more leg. He told the frog to jump, so the frog jumped. He jumped 2 feet. So the scientist wrote in his notebook: a frog with 2 feet jumps 2 feet. The scientist cut off one more leg. He told the frog to jump, so the frog jumped. He jumped 1 foot. So the scientist wrote in his notebook: a frog with 1 foot jumps 1 foot. The scientist cut off the last leg. He told the frog jump, Jump, JUMP! But the frog did not move. So the scientist wrote in his notebook: a frog with no legs goes deaf.

University Examination (Sardar Jokes)
Sardar Santa Singh is appearing for his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. Oye, I am only following the instructions - Answer in brief.

NASA Shuttle Problem (Sardar Jokes)
NASA was getting ready to launch a very important space shuttle. The scientists and engineers checked and double checked everything to make sure that things are fine. However, on the day of our launch, something seemed to be wrong. The rocket gave all sorts of noise but never took off even an inch from the ground. The engineers were puzzled because they could not figure out the problem. Finally, there was a Sardarji who offered to help. They NASA people were desperate by that time and agreed to do anything. "Tilt the rocket 45 degrees to the right" said the Sardarji. The engineers were puzzled but did it anyway. "Bring it back to vertical position" the sardarji said. The engineers did. "Now start the engines" he said. And surprise, the rocket took off and flew into outer space! Everybody congratulated him and asked him how he knew what to do. He replied -"It is very simple. This is what we always do with our scooters in India".

STD / ISD PCO (Sardar Jokes)
A sardarji went to a STD/ISD PCO and slapped the operator twice. Guess why? Because there it was written "Number dial karne se pehele do lagae"

Sardarji on KBC 2 (Sardar Jokes)
Amitabh : apka 13th question 25 lakh yeh raha apke samne.. Contestant Sardar is tensed. Amitabh : Who is the father of Abhishek Bachan? Computer Screen: A. Amitabh Bachan B. Laloo Prasad Yadav C. Moh. Azhar D. General Perverz Musharaff. Amitabh : Apka kya jawab hai ? (He is quite sure that Sardar will opt for A) But Sardar is still confused. Amitabh : Apke pas do life line hai..(50:50 and phone a friend) Sardar: I think it is A but am not sure. Amitabh : Not sure... Hmmm Ap kya karna chahenge? Sardar : I would like to use 50:50? Amitabh: Ok computer , 2 galat javabo ko mita de.. Computer after deleting two names, leaves two options which are: - B. Laloo Prasad Yadav. C. Moh. Azhar. Amitabh is confused and tensed thinks how come the computer has made this mistake But as is said in bollywood the show must go on. Now Sardar is even more confused. Sardar: I would like to use the last life line phone a friend... Amitabh : Ap kisko phone karna chahenge? Sardar : Mein Jaya Bachan ji ko phone karna chahoonga. Amitabh Fainted !!

Please Help Me (Sardar Jokes)
Please can you lend me Rs 1000, I will return it to you day after tomorrow, I nead it Pls help me out, I know you Have it ... . . . . . . . Scroll down . . . . . . . Sardar talking to an ATM Machine!!

Short Story (Sardar Jokes)
A Sardarji happened to participate in a competition, which was about writing the shortest story. The organizers had put a condition that a story must have four ingredients viz. religion, sex, suspense and mystery. Sardarji's turn came after many attempts by others. Sardarji gave a story, which was just one sentence and read : "Oh God, my wife is going to deliver a child". Amused, the organizers asked the sardarji whether it contained all the four ingredients !! Sardarji replied affirmatively and gave his explanation as below: Oh God : religion my wife: sex going to deliver a child : suspense (whether a girl or a boy) "Okay.... but where is the mystery ?" asked one of the organizers. The sardar replied : who is the father?? Sardarji was declared the winner for writing the shortest story!

Kalida's Brother (Sardar Jokes)
History teacher asked Santa: Name Kalidas's brother who was a shoemaker. Santa: Adidas

Santa's wife dies (Sardar Jokes)
Santa's wife dies. He is calm, but his wife's lover is crying furiously. Finally, Santa consoles him: Don't worry buddy, I will marry again.

Wife With Stranger (Sardar Jokes)
Sardar to his friend, "Yesterday I saw my wife going to see a movie with a stranger". His friend replied, "So did u follow them?". Sardar replied, "No yaar, I had already seen the movie".